Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
