How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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