Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize