since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
