I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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