Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize