So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
