If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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