if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
