i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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