That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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