I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
