Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
