About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
birth control should be required to get into college
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
