Already got asked if we're dating
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
