twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Can I color on your dick again?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
This is classic penis vs brain.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
