I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
