very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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