Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize