Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
