I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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