My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
And then the night went full on bisexual.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
