Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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