so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
