I should be sponsored by Trojan
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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