Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize