have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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