i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
