Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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