I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I deserve this hangover.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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