And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
