she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you had me at cake vodka
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
