nut hugger
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
