Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Sober January is a disaster.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize