I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
