forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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