the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
