Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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