You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
