Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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