She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
