I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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