just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
