Don't make out with my wife yet
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
