his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
