the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
