The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
