thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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