so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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