hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you had me at cake vodka
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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