Non-Jews are for practice
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
