Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
