You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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