eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
