She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
