i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
