question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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