so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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