Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
