his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
No subtext here. People are naked.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
