I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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