im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize