ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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