Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
wat bout pragnant strippers??
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
