that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
