The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Farmville is her only friend.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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