Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Welp...herpes.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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