There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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