I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
