so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize