Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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