dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
