I just pynch a tree in the face
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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