I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
