he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
