I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Holy sore nipples Batman
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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