So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
