oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
foreskin is a definite game changer
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
